I'm what the game's been missing like both Michael's

There's something about basketball that I do truly enjoy...why? I haven't quite figured it out yet. It might have something to do with my undying love for sports apparel.. or it might have started with sneakers or Spacejam. This summer I got jenn to come to the hood Basketball court in Montreal-Nord with me and a video camera.. My plan was to record my first slam dunk ever. I figured i would get Jenn to get on all fours in front of the net.. and I would take a running start, jump on her back and then slam dunk the funk...Why she would even agree to this i don't fucking know. Anyways i unfortunatly miscaculated how short i am and how high the net really is. Even standing on her back...a slam dunk is farout of reach. I guess i'l stick to defense.

As you can imagine, someone of my stature is not really the first picked when picking teams in school, but when high school came around shit changed, cause damn was I ever killer defense. No.. not cause I could jump higher than anyone or anything like that but in an all girls school, most girls biggest fear was lesbians. Oh i preyed on their fears like Satan himself. Whoever had the ball in their hands I would walk up to them and play ass grab. Yeah I'd grab a titty here..butt cheek there, they would get grossed out and drop the ball and booyah i was in. I got so good at doing just that, that eventually i wouldn't even have to play ass grab anymore. All i had to do was walk up to them and they would pass me the ball fearing for their precious prepubescent titties.

Anyways I acquired 2 tickets to see the Raptors take on the Celtics ...and lose of course. Man i wish it was 1999 and Master P was still playing for the Raptors.. I think i would die. Anyways JoJoe and I are going in our matching Paul Pierce jerseys and fitteds. I plan on drinking way to much beer and playing grab ass with any little girl Raptors fans that get in my way. yay!