Peace Park

Peace Park is just that spot in Montreal where everyone meets up to start the day of skating.. or at least it used to be before they started giving out 600$ tickets for skating there. Now people keep it brief and when the po is spotted everyone starts to mad dash. Crazy Dave is the "king" of Peace .. not because he pulls the illest shit there but because he is there everyday. guaranteed. He lives right up the street and ever since i can remember about (5 or so years) he has been documenting the craziness that goes on there. For those that don't know peace is situated just bellow st catherine on the corner of st laurent which is Montreal's red district. The park sits right in between a stretch of 24 hour sexotheques (brothels, Temple Skate shop and a 24 hour corner store. Thus it houses skateboarders, native scum, and crackheads/ prostitutes of all shapes and forms. Really it's the type of spot that anything can go down at any given time. Crazy Dave has been collecting rugged footage of this spot for years and claims a video is in the works. Man that video will be raw as fuck if it ever makes it's way into public view that is. So far there's a teaser that's been out for at least 2 years now. if you haven't seen it yet check it out.
My squad is running that shit. Gab and Phil doing it, my niggas!

Short Skirts High Hopes

When i was in high school i was a fucking genius... all be it i didn't know it at the time but when i think back to the glory days attending a catholic all girls school me and my click ran shit. High school for us Quebecois is anywhere from grade 7 - 11.
So now whenever the fuck i feel like it, i will reminisce on the good old days when smokes were cheap and catholic school-girl was a synonym for whore. Gab, these stories are for you, i know how they amuse you so.

So basically I was a lazy low life fucking stoner, right typical high school shit? Anyways.. I was pretty bad with it. I'd usually wake up, smoke a roach that was laying on my bedside table.. and then proceed to get dressed and head to the metro where the click would meet at 8:00 at Villa Maria metro to get our morning toots on. Now, if we didn't have weed, we would sit at the metro waiting for anyone, usually marymount scum, to hustle us a fins... Sometimes being an hour to 2 hours late for class just because we were waiting for our morning fix. The excuses used to obtain a late pass were incredible, ridiculous, and relentless. I'll list a top 5 best excuses ever used some other time. This post is about the stoners perfect excuse, Hypoglycemia.

First off, There are two symptoms that are commonly associated with smoking/ingesting THC. Obviously im talking about getting fucking hungry and wanting to pass the fuck out.

So I decided to commence the master plan on a teacher who would understand the the effects of such a diagnonsis. My science teacher. At first when he would find me passed out he would abnoxiously wake me up, until i put my plan into action that is. I came to him one day before class and explained that i had recently been diagnosed with Hypoglycemia. Sympathy was in the air.
I don't think i spent a single class awake after that day.. i would wake up when the lunch bell rang, wipe the drool off my face, eat and then smoke some more. Magical.

Then there was my english teacher, what a sucker... i mean.. sweetheart. No wait.. i mean sucker. After giving her the hypoglycemic talk when she would catch me nodding off she would cautiously wake me only to hand me a couple of dollars and a hall pass. "Go to the cafeteria and bye a cookie sweetie" something along the lines of that.

I then continued the wizardry with all my other teachers. I didn't accomplish much in terms of acidemics those 5 years, but i like to think that the shit i did accomplish was a feat way greater.

Next time on Running shit 2000-2005, How to make biology fun.

Skinema, The heavenly works of Chris Nieratko

So yesterday I was pretty hungover and didn't make it to work. Oops. My bad. Something good did come out of this situation though. I spent what i proclaim to be the best 20$ I've spent in years. I purchased a copy of Nieratko's Skinema.

I got to work today around 8:30, went straight to my bosses office to see what deeds he needed done for the day and he told me that I needed to create some employee files and that he would meet me in my office in a couple of minutes. It is now 11:00, my boss has hopefully forgotten I even exist. Lucky for me, it has given me a chance to read. After reading the introduction by Dave Carnie, certifying Chri$ Nieratko as a grade A asshole, I knew I was in for a good read. The book consists of compiled entries disguised as porno reviews. divulging the inner intricacies of his drug and alcohol abused mind, his fear of AIDS and Herpes, and all sorts of fun stuff about him fucking sluts. Buddy really likes anal. With entry titles like, "A Cum Sucking Whore Named Kimberly" and "Anal Mermaids" I'm kind of in literary heaven right now. Don't bother trying to contact me while I'm at work today.. I'm busy
bishes.
The caption under the flick of Shimizu says, "My friend Daniel Shimizu demonstrates why Asians are superior: they refuse to get tattoos without tits resting on their heads." The caption for the flick on the right is, "Porn star Kelly Madison. You can't tell from this angle but she has a lovely personality."

Now and Then

I started getting into skateboarding in 2000.. I was 12 years old at the time and my neighbour Viviane and I used to just fuck around busting rocket ollies on our block and talking shit just to kill time. That same year Photosynthesis came out, it was the first skate video I ever purchased. It blew my mind then and still does every time I watch it. I remember that same week i bought it I went out and bought an alien workshop Dyrdek board at Underworld, I was on it.

I came across the trailer for Mind Field today while bored at work it got me very nostalgic to say the least. I like how they stayed true to the way it was filmed 8 years ago, half black and white half color.. lots of artsy shots of moving traffic. Check out the trailer by clicking on the post title. There are other clip links once your at the trailer.. check out Light Leak clip.. it starts off with a black and white football field scene... i wonder if this is foreshadowing of a Dill pole vault part two?

Complicated Daze

So i guess i kinda need to explain that last post.
It goes like this.
Wednesday started off as a seemingly normal day, work 8-5.. then jenn and I had class from 6:30-9.. however we were bored out of our fucking minds and decided to leave at around 8ish. I suggested we go kill time at Square Victoria with a couple beers and my skateboard until the mini ramp was up at the bar. The thing about not having a penis and drinking beer is that when the iss feeling hits it's a little harder to release naw mean? Anyways luckily for us the W hotel is located right across the street and Jenn's uncle is the doorman so peeing is relativly hastle free. Point of that being that when jenn went to iss i decided to do a lap around the piece. I then heard a whistle, turned around..and it was none other than the bastard beast.

I made a rash decision to play the stupid american tourist card. Propably the dumbest thing i could have done considering they were french canadian pricks. Firstly, i fronted like i couldn't speak/ understand french(which deffinitly pissed them right the fuck off) then i told them i didnt know you couldn't skate here.. i just wandered out of my hotel and ended up there. They proceded to ask my name, age, address. Aw fuck i didn't want a ticket.. i figured i'd stick to my lame story and they'd let me off the hook... If only.
Anyways so i claimed to be a 16 year old sarah held from vermont. They then asked for parents names and the hotel room number... They called the hotel and obviously.. i nor my phony parents were listed. They then told me i would go to jail if i didn't find some piece of i.d. Jenn had returned from the pisser and was watching from a distance at this point... i then decided to fess up to the beast man and tell them my real name. As soon as he heard the words.. okay so i kinda lied, in a fury he got out of his car threw me up against the hood and before i knew it i was in handcuffs in the backseat of a police car with 2 douche bags telling me all about how fraud is a criminal offense and the slammer was my destination. Jenn ran up to the cop car once shit hit the fan and asked one of the cops nicely what was going down as she was clueless to the situation. The cop then told her to mind her own fucking buisness and to get out of there. Jen was pretty offended by his rude tude and decided to give it back to him. so at this point im trying to houdini my hands out of the cuffs while sticking my head to the window trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Then i see jenn start ruffing up the cop pushing him, he got ruff back and called for shit loads of back up. Finally they managed to slam jenn against the hood of the car while she kept flailing her extra long limbs and screaming shit like "FUCK YOU YOU CROOKED FUCKING BASTARDS BAAAAAAH" i was trying to hold back from laughing at this point.. thinking this really fucking sucks.. but i guess atleast i'll have a friend with me in the slammer. they cuffed jenn and sat her outside on the curb while they ran our names. Backup arrived and the douchebag cops were there bragging to their other fucking pig pen friends saying shit like "aww ouais la petite pis ca blonde" which means we got her and her girlfriend.. then they just started clowning on us calling us lesbians and shit i'm like cool whatever i'd eat pussy before getting on a cops dick anyday. anyways on to the story. At this point the beer was kicking in and all i could think about was when i'd next be able to pee.

Now im thinking Jenn pushed a cop a couple of times no way shes not going to jail.. but no. Instead they wrote her up a 500$ ticket and sent her on her way. So the cops get back in the car and start driving me away as jenn attempted to chase the car down the block. I kept telling the officers i needed to pee, they kept telling me to fuck off basically. they drove me to the cop station and i was like sweet just fucking book me i need to fucking pee. like really bad. like i've never needed to pee before. They then explained that because i had no priors they wern't going to book but i was going to get 2 tickets and a criminal court case. Man they purposely took FOREVER to write up those tickets purposely lengthing my agony. i somehow mannage to undo my pants and told them if they didnt let me out to pee i would piss in their beloved car. The cop then told me that if i did that i would have to clean it up with my face. Considering his level of dickery i didn't want to take the chance that he was bluffing. They then let me out (still cuffed pants half off) and told me i could pee but would have to pay another 150 pissing in public ticket. fucking cunts. So i held on for dear life.. waiting for them to write up my tickets and mugshot dates and court dates ect. Once that was over i never ran so fast in my life fuckin mad dashed to the delta, and a single tear ran down my left cheek as i took the most satisfying piss of my life. It felt like a fucking moon landing. mission completed. I then proceeded to the bar to get really fucked up.
The end.

Tonight is the night i got Arrested!

for skateboarding and fraud...oh and jenn got a 500 ticket for assult and battery of a police officer... il explain tomorrow when im not hammerd kay thx bai!

Alena! Back and on the Come Up..so move over bish

Anyone living and skateboarding in Montreal for over 5 years now could tell you about Alena. Alena was THE dopest skate shop montreal ever had, from it's once simplistic classy layout, to the heat they had on the shelves (probably the first shop in the 514 to carry URL's and Sb's, when skateboarders were iffy about Nike getting into the market)..i even got my first pair of Sb's there, the tweeds that started my passion for nike's and kicks in general, to the dope artwork on the walls to the art shows that would supply minors with boosie. Once located in the heart of DG, Alena was where it was at. Not to mention it was only a 5 minute skate from my catholic all girls highschool at the time and right across the street from Giruard Park the old skatespot/smokespot/40 spot after school special spot.
Jeremy Bresnen is the brains behind Alena and i truly believe that the only reason Alena went out of business in the first place is because he was just to ahead of his time and the game in general. I mean if a shop like Alena was up and running now i'm almost certain it would do quite well.

Anyways Jeremy is and was always a stand up dude, really good with kids in the community, putting everybody on. Maybe even too generous. I remember one particular incident where Laura Lloyd and I were sessioning Giruard one afternoon (2003/2004) sometime, and i broke one of my kingpins ( yes switched it up for you fucking nazis...you know who you are). Unfortunatly for me, I had just spent my lunch money on weed as i usually had, and went over to Alena and Jeremey hooked it up and was just like hit me up whenever you can... probably about 10 minutes later..one of Lloyd's kingpin broke... and he did the same thing for her. I think it was only like 4 bucks.. but you know it was his whole demeanor and "go skate, have fun!" attitude that really made that place what it was.

Well unfortunatly for us, Alena has had it's doors closed now for over 4 years and isn't opening up another shop in montreal, Alena is now more focused on branding itself. Product will be available soon from boards, to shirts to whatever else Jeremey comes up with. I'm sure it will be dope!

Oh yeah theres kinda a team already..Pretty much scattered across North America from Montreal to frisco. Oh even little brother Fyfe is on it.. go check out the site by clicking on the title of this post!

Story of my Summer

wow... so on point.

I'm Back... so Make it Clap.

woah that is unatural. yet hypnotizing.

Anyways i just got back from Vangritty
got to see lots of old friends and babies and naked vikings. Even the saskatoon squad was out there. fucking right good times.
I'l get flicks up later.