Short Skirts High Hopes

When i was in high school i was a fucking genius... all be it i didn't know it at the time but when i think back to the glory days attending a catholic all girls school me and my click ran shit. High school for us Quebecois is anywhere from grade 7 - 11.
So now whenever the fuck i feel like it, i will reminisce on the good old days when smokes were cheap and catholic school-girl was a synonym for whore. Gab, these stories are for you, i know how they amuse you so.

So basically I was a lazy low life fucking stoner, right typical high school shit? Anyways.. I was pretty bad with it. I'd usually wake up, smoke a roach that was laying on my bedside table.. and then proceed to get dressed and head to the metro where the click would meet at 8:00 at Villa Maria metro to get our morning toots on. Now, if we didn't have weed, we would sit at the metro waiting for anyone, usually marymount scum, to hustle us a fins... Sometimes being an hour to 2 hours late for class just because we were waiting for our morning fix. The excuses used to obtain a late pass were incredible, ridiculous, and relentless. I'll list a top 5 best excuses ever used some other time. This post is about the stoners perfect excuse, Hypoglycemia.

First off, There are two symptoms that are commonly associated with smoking/ingesting THC. Obviously im talking about getting fucking hungry and wanting to pass the fuck out.

So I decided to commence the master plan on a teacher who would understand the the effects of such a diagnonsis. My science teacher. At first when he would find me passed out he would abnoxiously wake me up, until i put my plan into action that is. I came to him one day before class and explained that i had recently been diagnosed with Hypoglycemia. Sympathy was in the air.
I don't think i spent a single class awake after that day.. i would wake up when the lunch bell rang, wipe the drool off my face, eat and then smoke some more. Magical.

Then there was my english teacher, what a sucker... i mean.. sweetheart. No wait.. i mean sucker. After giving her the hypoglycemic talk when she would catch me nodding off she would cautiously wake me only to hand me a couple of dollars and a hall pass. "Go to the cafeteria and bye a cookie sweetie" something along the lines of that.

I then continued the wizardry with all my other teachers. I didn't accomplish much in terms of acidemics those 5 years, but i like to think that the shit i did accomplish was a feat way greater.

Next time on Running shit 2000-2005, How to make biology fun.