Monday, September 8, 2008

Big Brother Pt. Trois

so it's been a while since one of these...
Anyone remember that Chris Nieratko, Corey Duffel interview? The one where he called Stevie a trashy nigger? Oh man, that was golden.
I have decided to include the more crucial part of the interview, as the begining is all about how he's a lame "punk" mormon and how the Baker team doesn't like him cause he's a pussy that doesn't drink.

enjoy.
So are you out there having sex?

No, I have a girlfriend who I have been dating for like two years, so, you know, stuff goes on. She's cool, like she is really into music and everything.

Does she think, because you look like a girl sometimes, she's having lesbian sex?

No, some nigger called us lesbians before.

What did you just say?

We were sitting in Wendy's once, and some nigger comes up to us, like, "Hey, Lesbians, get down on your knees and give me some blowjobs right now." That's the only time she has ever felt like a lesbian. He was like some trashy nigger like Stevie Williams, like gold fronts, like sketchy and had a pistol in his pocket, so I pretty much had to listen to whatever he said, like you don't want to talk back to him, so that's the only time she probably felt like a lesbian.

You think Stevie Williams is a trashy nigger?

No, I don't think he's trashy, all I'm saying is Stevie--- no, that guy is not trashy.

Stevie is my boy, and he'll smack the shit out of you.

Yeah, he almost has before. A long time ago at Pier 7, I was trying to do something over the block, and my board shot out and hit Josh Kalis in the knee, and then Josh got all mad at me like, "What are you doing, you stupid-ass white boy? Go back home, you punk rocker," and then Stevie's like, "What do we got over here? What's this little wigger up to?" He called me a stupid white boy, and I was like, "I'm sorry." Like Stevie, like I would never talk trash to that guy.

You just did.

No, I didn't. I didn't call him trashy.

Yes, you did.

I didn't mean it, man. Don't kick my ass, Stevie.

If you see Stevie, you better apologize.

Yeah, I'm going to.

Because he'll beat the fuck out of you with a brick.

Yeah, he would.

How come every time I see you, you are always making a dumb face?

It's just fun. It's not for an image or anything, it's just fun to do, it just gets me kind of psyched. Instead of waving, I give the middle finger. It's just something I've always done to my parents, and they are always like, "Hey, Corey," I'm like, "Yeah, cunt, what you want?"

Bullshit. You don't talk to your mother like that.

yeah, I do. I get in trouble. I used to always have to eat soap when I was five years old. My dad would ask me to go clean my room. I was just like, "Screw you, dickhead." I've always had to eat soap.

What do you do up there in Walnut Creek?

Go to school everyday, go shop at thrift stores like the Goodwill and just go buy candy.

Do you like a lot of chocolate?

Yeah, I love candy. Especially before I go skate, it gets me hyped up.

Do you eat a lot of nuts too?

I hate nuts plain, but if it's in the stuff, it's good.

You like salty nuts?

Yeah, salty nuts-- no, no, dude! That's wack! I don't like salty nuts. You're trying to make me sound gay, like I like salty nuts.

Speaking of nuts, tell me about this 25-stair handrail.

I was trying to do a 50/50 down it, and it was made out of aluminum, so me and John Minor had to wax it for like 25 minutes. Finally I just decided to go for it. I got on it fine, but the next thing I knew, I was bouncing on my nuts on the whole thing and jumped down to my face and just hit my face real bad and broke my collarbone and elbow and got jacked real bad. I damaged all the nerves in my face, just coughing up all this blood, had black balls.

What the fuck was going through your mind the second you knew you lost it?

I don't even know how I got on my nuts, it's a safe rail. There is grass on the other side, and I was trying to jump off to the other side, and I just missed it. I thought I was going to slide down my nuts and get off, but I just kept tumbling down. I hit my face, and everything went black and red. I just let out this loud scream. It was a nice fall though. It got me so psyched after watching it on film. It made me mad though sitting in the hospital knowing I'm not going to be able to skate for a month. That kind of sucks, but otherwise it was kind of funny, it just makes me want to go back and do it even more.

So you are going to go back and do that rail?

Oh, yeah. Can't wait to try it again. It happend two weeks ago or something, and i'm skating again already. Nothing big, just doing flat ground, just cruising around having fun. Kind of like when you first start skating just to go have fun. It gives me more time to hang out with my girlfriend and eat more food.

You need to eat. You're anorexic.

Nah, I ain't 'rex. That's what everybody says. I eat so much food, man. I weigh 120 pounds.

How tall are you?

Six foot. Hey, I gained ten pounds in the last month, that's good. I was like joey Ramone or something before.

Another kind of fruity thing that you do, you are into clothing design aren't you?

Yeah, I like it. I've done a bunch of designs for Hurley. Emerica is going to let me do it for them hopefully too. I just always draw designs, and finally I just decided to submit it to Hurley, and they got psyched on it. I do jackets, shirts, pants, shorts. I really like fashion. I like different types of clothes. I guess that's why I like going to thrift stores so much. I just go buy stuff and try to make it into something different. I mean, designers are kind of fruity at times. Man, you're trying to make me sound gay in this interview.

No, you're sounding gay on your own.

Man, that sucks! I'm getting jacked so bad. I talked trash on Stevie, and now i'm sounding like a fag. Man, I'm going to get jacked.

You are already jacked.

Yeah, but Stevie's gonna punch me in the face, man.

Maybe you should apologize to Stevie right now.

Yeah. I'm sorry Stevie, I don't think you are trashy, I think you are a damn good skateboarder though. That guy is so good. Oh, he's real good. That guy is really good at skating. You are the best, Stevie.

Do you ever get into fights, giving people the finger?

No. I'm surprised I don't get my ass kicked, because I talk so much trash.

Do you think you'll get your ass kicked after this interview?

Probably. Stevie Williams is going to be after me. Like Stevie is not going to read it, but somebody is going to read it and be like, "Hey, Stevie, we got this kid talking trash on you." Oh, man, I'm getting jacked.

But you spit at people and you flip them off, and you don't get your ass kicked?

No. There was this kid -- it's on Halloween -- this kid spit at me, so I punched him in the face, and his older brother and all his friends came and jumped me. They kind of just pushed me on the ground and kicked me, I just got back up though. It was like nine guys who were all twice my size.

Do you think most people just don't fight you becuase you look like a girl and they don't want to beat up a girl?

Oh, that would be a good idea. Just go talk all the trash you can and just like have a wig on or something.

But you don't need a wig. You already look like a girl.

That's messed up. Calling me a chick.

I didn't call you a chick. I just said you look like a chick. I know you are a dude becuase only a dude would be stupid enough to go down 25 stairs on his face, but you look like a fucking chick.

Man, that's what people say too because I wear chicks' pants because they fit tighter too, so everyone thinks i'm a chick even more. They don't make guys pants tight enough. I have a size-27 waist, and I get like 27/34's. Guy pants aren't made that small.

You shop in the girls' section at K-mart?

Yeah, it's jacked, man. No, I don't do it, I make my mom go do it for me.

You make your mom buy your pants for you?

Yeah. She just called me up today like, "Oh, I found a pair of good new 512 Levis for you."

All right, Corey, I think I tortured you enough.

Torture me enough, nah. I had fun. I'm psyched, I got an interview.

Okay, let's end it there, unless you have to thank somebody.

Yeah, I guess I should thank my sponsors Emerica, Hurley, Ricta Wheels, Diakka Watches, Arnette and Metro Board Shop. I'd like to thank everybody: Paul Gomez, Justin Regan, my mom, my parents, anybody that has ever helped me out. Lance at the Firm and especially Greg and everybody at Think for everything they did in the past, and so like anybody that has helped me out, thanks.

hahahahha what a jerk.

anyways i guess you're kinda itching for another Rosa flick by now too,