My Fitted Cap Low, Let Me Put My Hater Blockers On

Anyone who knows me personally is familiar with my trademark bucket hat. I've been collecting fitteds ever since my early high school years right after a sadistic hairdresser gave me a Joe Dirt inspired mullet. I have a head the size of a peanut and generally have a hard time finding good fitteds in my size, but that never slowed me down. I have this bad habit of buying hats 2, 3, even 4 sizes to big just cause I can't bare the thought of not having it. I do the same thing with shoes, it's a bad look. I can't wear them but just knowing I have them satisfies my twisted need to hoard and collect things. Whenever I have to go places and don't particularly feel inclined to talk to people all I have to do is not wear a hat and its pretty safe to say people won't recognize me. My own parents and closest friends walk right by me when I'm fitted-less. The perfect disguise.