Peace Bitches

I'm out for the week. I'l be in LA by midnight and in Sandiego by 1 30 presuming the traffic permits it. To all those i didn't have the pleasure of seeing during the holidays. Happy early new year cunts. Bye Byes!

Lock Away Your Little Girls! Billy Jr's Born!

Billy has been a good friend of mine for soon to be 6 years now and anyone who knows Bill has been expecting this for years. I met up with Bill in Vancouver this summer and he informed me that he was having a little one. We joked around for a while about how it would probably be a girl because karma works in not so mysterious ways. When he told me he told his mom about the little bugger momma Gallagher's reaction was " well to be honest I'm surprised it hasn't happened sooner". Way to go Bill.

Anyways Bill has a good heart and I'm crazy happy for him. Little Luka was born a healthy little boy and i suggest women with young girls lock them up or buy some sort of diaper lock cause if he takes after his dad here comes trouble.

Owen is now in Saskatoon visiting and I'm way jealous. Wish I could be there, but trust that auntie Michelle will come visit soon.

Anyways i guess this post is an ode to billy of sorts, so why not include my favorite photo of all time, obvi Owen captured this perfect moment.


The reason he/she wrote this at lions park is questionable... I'm thinking it's some poor boy whose seen his girlfriend taken away, or possibly his sister... maybe even his mother. no wait that's more Watson's stee. haha

Anyways without further adu here's Luka

The perfect Christmas gift. Health and Death in 1 gift certificate. Thank You America

So the good people over at Planned Parenthood have come up with the perfect gift to give this holiday season! Planned parenthood gift certificates. I can already imagine the Christmas cards,

Dearest son,
your slut of a girlfriend is looking plump
here's an abortion certificate... just in case
Merry Christmas xoxo mom and dad

Another useful scenario for all you jerks planning your holiday 1 night stands. Don't forget to leave a gift certificate on her night table before you leave with a card attached that will go something along the lines of
"if your feeling a little itchy this morning, my bad beautiful...go get some crab remover...on me"

What other greast scenarios would these babies come in handy for, leave me extravagent scenarios via the comment box please.

Sunday, Funday

Sundays are all about maxin and relaxing.
actually my whole weekend has consisted of cooking, smoking, eating, cooking smoking eating. Yesterday little cass and I made 2 pumpkin pie's that were so fucking delish I woke up craving more. I made 2 more this morning.. guess what im doing... thats right.. smoking and eating. Hells ya!
Bah and fall is dunzo... a couple of inches of snow on the ground
I don't want to leave my house
time to pack the authentics up for the winter :(

Back on my bully shit. Flatbush, Bushwick, black hoodie shit.

The daily grind has become repetitive and monotone here in Montreal. I haven't split town since labour day weekend. I think this is officially the longest I've gone without a vacay. I'm going stir crazy. At least my California vacay is all planned now. New Years in SD, 1 night at the W in the hills (worona I'll get LC's number for ya) hah, and then then a nice long weekend in SF. My first trip to Sf so I'm rather excited.
Other then that.. I'm going to see Fabolous tonight! No one is quite as excited as me. Its loso bitch!
2 jams that need to be played tonight! but probably won't...
Diamonds... "alot of carrots not the ones bugs bunny snackin on"




Brooklyn!!!! "I'm on my robin thicke shit, shit ever gets thick back to robbin niggas quick, trick!"

I'm what the game's been missing like both Michael's

There's something about basketball that I do truly enjoy...why? I haven't quite figured it out yet. It might have something to do with my undying love for sports apparel.. or it might have started with sneakers or Spacejam. This summer I got jenn to come to the hood Basketball court in Montreal-Nord with me and a video camera.. My plan was to record my first slam dunk ever. I figured i would get Jenn to get on all fours in front of the net.. and I would take a running start, jump on her back and then slam dunk the funk...Why she would even agree to this i don't fucking know. Anyways i unfortunatly miscaculated how short i am and how high the net really is. Even standing on her back...a slam dunk is farout of reach. I guess i'l stick to defense.

As you can imagine, someone of my stature is not really the first picked when picking teams in school, but when high school came around shit changed, cause damn was I ever killer defense. No.. not cause I could jump higher than anyone or anything like that but in an all girls school, most girls biggest fear was lesbians. Oh i preyed on their fears like Satan himself. Whoever had the ball in their hands I would walk up to them and play ass grab. Yeah I'd grab a titty here..butt cheek there, they would get grossed out and drop the ball and booyah i was in. I got so good at doing just that, that eventually i wouldn't even have to play ass grab anymore. All i had to do was walk up to them and they would pass me the ball fearing for their precious prepubescent titties.

Anyways I acquired 2 tickets to see the Raptors take on the Celtics ...and lose of course. Man i wish it was 1999 and Master P was still playing for the Raptors.. I think i would die. Anyways JoJoe and I are going in our matching Paul Pierce jerseys and fitteds. I plan on drinking way to much beer and playing grab ass with any little girl Raptors fans that get in my way. yay!

We used to move work on Greyhounds

I spent my summer of 2005 venturing across Canada with Viviane by means of greyhound... as shitty as that sounds we actually had a ball. One of our last stops on the trip was a shitty little city in Ontario called Thunder bay. Why did we decide to stop in thunder bay you may ask? Well previous to our trip we decided to google "mini ramps in Canada" and we came up with some kid named Adam Hopkins' home built mini ramps... So we looked further into it and if my memory serves me right (which it rarely does these days) there was a 3 foot mini in his basement, a 4 foot with a 6 foot extension with the last foot made out of red brick in the backyard, and his very own vert ramp in his family's barn that was something like 12 or more feet i cant quite recall. As you've probably figured out by now I have an undeniable love for mini ramp sessions. So we emailed the young Adam who was only 14 at the time to ask if we could come through and skate the ramps. He replied yes and even told us that his mom would pick us up at the greyhound station...booyah! So I was 18 at the time... Vivianne was 20.. and poor Adam was a shy one and as soon as we got to his house hid in his room for a bit while we conversed and smoked cigs with his mom. They were a fantastic family, very welcoming and his mom was the best.. i think she drove us to value village when it was over and we drove around cursing at people and smoking butts. Anyways even little Adam got over his introverted behavior and skated the mini's with us. Lately I've heard that Adams grown up quite a bit and moved to Vancouver or something.. I've also spotted some flicks around that Owen's taken, good for you kid. Adam if you ever spot this here's me thanking you again... and i may need your moms number in case i decide to go visit her... Viviane and I do miss her so. Unfortunately, this is the only flick I have left of thunder bay.

Viviane and I having fun in the basement....but where's mommy?

I would serve on stoops, Now i swerve in coups

I came across a feature in complex today called "Grindin: an oral history of skate shoes" Pretty cheesy.... pretty much everything they talk about is already known to anyone that knows anything.. but it's worth a look.. some of the commentators are Van Doren of Vans, Steve caballero on how he made loot of cutting down his original model, Kevin Imamura of Nike, Koston and even Humprey from the Jordan Brand.. a bunch of others.. the whole article is pretty blah if you ask me.. but there's a pretty sweet photo of Salabanzi... click on the title of the post if your remotely interested.

Before the fame....

Before Laura Lloyd became an indie rock star...
she used to be a greasy fat kid....

Things done changed.
But hey if you ever do make it A-list, i have a golden stash of amazing photos that will make me stacks when i sell them to TMZ and the enquirer....
don't worry I'll give you 10 percent.
I'm nice like that

Patent Leather Balls

Yesterday was fantastic! 2 new friends entered my life Dreidel Balls and Christian Dior.
My friend Corey left for NY this morning and in exchange for doggysitting Dreidel Balls.. AKA Dre..or Balls I will obtain a crisp pair of black cement jordan 3's! yes.
Dre is a good companion... and i also thouroughly enjoy watching my mother chase him around the house screaming balls. Other than that he's kind of stinky, takes up all the space in the bed and snores pretty bad... Joe says he's exactly like me.. great.
Internet people may I formerly introduce you to Balls.
I also Hit up the shoe department at Holt Renfrew for some winter booties.
Thank god i don't have to worry about paying rent. Who knows maybe someday i'll have to barter these for rent... I sure hope not. Damn do i ever have a soft spot for patent leather.

Hottest Sudo-Lesbian Lovers of all Time

Tuesday night Laura Lloyd and I decided to go to the movies to watch Woody Allen's newest film, Vicky Christina, Barcelona. Damn Woody is the man! So basically 2 girls (Scarlet Johansen & Rebeca Hall) go to Barcelona for the summer fall in love with some horny Spanish painter type who has the craziest finest ex wife of all time (Penelope Cruz)..It turns into some twisted sex.. square i guess in this case... but fuck at one point Scarlett Penelope and painter buddy are living together/dating.... So fucking hot.. Lesbian Penelope/Scarlett darkroom action holla! My only complaint is that neither Penelope nor Scarlet do any full frontal nudity... screw being tasteful woody we want the dirt! Anyways Lloyd and i were very vocal about our discontent with cutting out the juicy parts... the pretentious film fucks hated us.. oh well.




I guess I will end it off with i believe it to be utterly impossible that Woody didn't get about 2500 woodys during the making of this film.

Take That Worona

Remember this Terry:


The 4's can be skated.

I'm Broken

Saturday I went to the Vanderhoof bowl with Vivianne, Mr Woytowich, and Mr Christian. Just as Owen was setting up his flashes to shoot a flick i fucked up large and fractured my tailbone. Thank sluts i had 3 bottles of pain killers in my purse. I'm down and out.

Here.. but i'm gone.

I've been out of it lately.. possibly due to the outstanding amount of pharmaceuticals in my system at all times. I was in crazy pain until i entered the world of prescription drugs, now i only have to wait an entire week for my Doctor to actually have time to fix me. thanks asshole... until then this is my life.

Speaking of which has anyone heard Jiggabourg? That shits illy.. who would have thought Jigga spitting over some Serge Gainsbourg would be that crack.
I especially suggest it when under the influence of mass amounts of codeine.

other than that.. my first court date was Tuesday.. since I'm such a good girl I did all my homework and the prosecution is ready to cut a deal. Holla Absolution here I come, in 3 months the border officially won't have shit on me. We the best!

Also.. if your in Toronto over the weekend get at me. Friday will consist of a reunion with the lovely Steph Hoff and German Neives while we get messy at the Madlib show and Saturday I'm hoping Mr Woytowich will take me to skate the SBC mini. I'm excited.. is that so wrong?

Footsy

Ever encountered anyone with a foot fetish? Years ago i happened to date someone of this rare breed and sometimes it got a little creepy...even for me. I mean toe porn is one thing.. i guess i mean we all get our kicks somehow... but waking up to someone kneeling beside your bed staring at your feet while you sleep is on a whole other level of freak. Needless to say things didn't work out, but whenever i come across freakish things i am reminded of just how bizarre people can be. Truth be told god bless those little freaks and whoever invented these things.


Are you tired of fucking your girls vaj all day.. is the back door just not that kinky for you anymore? I mean you can always buy a footgina?



I'm assuming this ones primarily for the ladies but i guess it can go both ways... girl on girl dickfoot action? I actually wouldn't mind kicking a few people in the ass with this thing...

Pre-teen Looking Mean

Did you ever look like this.

cool... me neither.

XXX

http://view.break.com/577249 - Watch more free videos

I need this Sweater

I spotted buddy on my way to the Method Man Redman show Sunday. I was tempted to ask him how much for the sweater.. but i didn't want to wake him from his heroin induced sleep.

I GOT THE INTERNET GOING NUTS

Watson over at You Will Soon has decided to do this monday's poll on girl skaters. Basically a which one of these haggard nasty ass bitches would you fuck kind of a theme. I got clout. Click on the post to check it out.

Fall is in air

i guess that means i can finally whip these babies out.

Mugshot Friday

So today is the day I go in to give the man my fingerprints and pictures. There will be no hiding from johnny law anymore. However I am thinking i'l just change my look for the photo.. I was thinking a little peacoat a pearl necklace... sundress perhaps?... oh and a mustache!.. i knew buying two would come in handy.
I wonder how bad this could possibly turn out for me.

in other news... FREE GUCCI MANE!!

Kelley's at it again

This is sure to offend some readers, but in my books these are fire!
Metallic Jordan 5's with a vulc sole. you done did it this time.

My Little Pony

I'm not one that collects toys, but who didn't as a kid? I had everything from barbies to G I Joes (stolen from my brother cause my mom refused to buy me any) but there were two types of figurines i collected fervently, Ninja Turtles and My little Ponies! They happen to also be the only ones I haven't been able to give away. So when i read about the new My little Pony project on the Tupperware Unit site I got really excited!
Its My Little Ponies 25th anniversary and to celebrate they got 25 people to customize 25 ponies. Some really interesting characters have been enlisted to take part in this project and one of our very own Tupperware Unit members Madonna, aka Klor of 123 Klan is up on it.


But if there's one I really want to get my hands on it's the Jim Houser designed pony! You guys might know Mr Houser from his work with Toy Machine

So if anyone wants to get on my good side and buy me this little pony to keep me company at night feel free!
That's Pony on the left kids!

Lots of other interesting ponies designed by the likes of Maze, Claw Money, Superdeux, Junko Mizuno, Jon Burgerman and many more. Click on the title post to go check em out!

International Players Anthem

A week ago i added a tracker to this little blog of mine. Here's where i'm at ya dig!

CP-3: Calliope Projects 3rd Ward, NO.

Masta P! Who's bout it bout it like that? I know i am, If you haven't yet, get up on Master P's video "I'm bout it bout it" and step your New Orleans game up. P used to work out of the calliope projects in uptown NO with C-murder and Silkk the Shocker, hustlin, hustlin.
If you don't know check out his low-budget life story via a 10 part youtube video.

Part 1 of 10... go look for the rest yourself if you dig it.


with quotes like:
-"That hoe licked my ass last night, she musta been a professional cause my ass never felt that clean, and that's when it happened"
- "what?"
- "Gas nigga! All i know is if that hoe woulda licked me any deeper in my ass I woulda farted and blew her fucking face off"

PURE FUCKING AMAZING.

ahh and the original track heard in that clip Masta p's "bout it" and Camron's version "bout it bout it pt 3" have been on heavy rotation in my headphones all summer!!

Masta P "BOUT IT"


Dipset ft Masta P.. "Bout it Bout it Pt 3"
I really like this version. Cam and P do it up legit

Check out that 1 legged cripple blood walk. rowdy rowdy!
"Snow so white only thing missing in 7 dwarfs"

ooof and Cam is rocking the Kemp Sonics Jersey i just came up on at Value Village!

The Beginning

I was digging through the vault today and I came up on what is quite possibly the beginning of my facisination of all things asian.

My scanner here at work isn't the best but my i'm side-eyeing the jap with the mustache and sweet shades pretty hard. nice.

Get Creative

Ever wish you could have the best of both worlds? Stop wishing and start running your shit cause some people ain't playing games. Just got this gem sent in from my homie Kelley out in the dirty glove.

a mix between the vulcanized sole of a harbor and some Dr Feelgood's, cut down to mid staus. Can't knock the hustle!

Best Wishes Worona

I got word from Worona today that he is in fact quite ill. Laying in a hospital bed in a lot of pain, overreacting and having anxiety attacks as Terry does quite consistently. He's thinking that his appendix has burst, but in all honesty i just think he's prego.. or at least i hope hes prego, that way he can be Arnold and I can be Devito. He's actually in the middle of an ultrasound as we speak, this rant too say. I will be coming to Ottawa this weekend, don't worry worona I will dress you up in floral pyjamas and slap a wig on you. Everything will be okay.

Moms Shouldn't be allowed to use Youtube

I introduced my mother to youtube a while ago when 2 girls 1 cup came out earlier this summer. I remember we were eating dinner and I decided i would fully gross her out, but no my mother is a trooper and instead she chowed down her pasta while laughing claiming that the poop was in fact chocolate ice cream, watching it on repeat throughout her entire meal. Anyways not my point, her and her boyfriend then discovered you can watch music video's on youtube.

Since then they hooked up speakers to her boyfriend's laptop and play their favorite jams while cursing at each other over drunken poker games every night. At first it was rather amusing watching her get excited over shaggy and mili vanili music videos, but now I'm just about ready to cut her off. I'm not alone either.. neighbours have filed noise complaints... i surprisingly agree with them.

I mean come on mom, variety is the spice of life. Not hers, she is now content with playing the same three music videos daily.. on repeat as loud as the speakers will play it...
drum roll please:

This particular artist she affectinatly refers to as, "her little guerilla".."aww michelle what do you mean you dont like 50 cent if i was your age i'd be all over that little guerilla"... creepy.


Really now, what kind of sane 52 year old woman blasts this daily. I'd say my mother.. but she is not sane.


Probably the worst/best out of the lot. Shaggy is her all time fave.


if there is anyway to ban a website from a computer please let me know
I NEED MY MOM BANNED FROM YOUTUBE!
KAI THX

Big Brother Pt. Trois

so it's been a while since one of these...
Anyone remember that Chris Nieratko, Corey Duffel interview? The one where he called Stevie a trashy nigger? Oh man, that was golden.
I have decided to include the more crucial part of the interview, as the begining is all about how he's a lame "punk" mormon and how the Baker team doesn't like him cause he's a pussy that doesn't drink.

enjoy.
So are you out there having sex?

No, I have a girlfriend who I have been dating for like two years, so, you know, stuff goes on. She's cool, like she is really into music and everything.

Does she think, because you look like a girl sometimes, she's having lesbian sex?

No, some nigger called us lesbians before.

What did you just say?

We were sitting in Wendy's once, and some nigger comes up to us, like, "Hey, Lesbians, get down on your knees and give me some blowjobs right now." That's the only time she has ever felt like a lesbian. He was like some trashy nigger like Stevie Williams, like gold fronts, like sketchy and had a pistol in his pocket, so I pretty much had to listen to whatever he said, like you don't want to talk back to him, so that's the only time she probably felt like a lesbian.

You think Stevie Williams is a trashy nigger?

No, I don't think he's trashy, all I'm saying is Stevie--- no, that guy is not trashy.

Stevie is my boy, and he'll smack the shit out of you.

Yeah, he almost has before. A long time ago at Pier 7, I was trying to do something over the block, and my board shot out and hit Josh Kalis in the knee, and then Josh got all mad at me like, "What are you doing, you stupid-ass white boy? Go back home, you punk rocker," and then Stevie's like, "What do we got over here? What's this little wigger up to?" He called me a stupid white boy, and I was like, "I'm sorry." Like Stevie, like I would never talk trash to that guy.

You just did.

No, I didn't. I didn't call him trashy.

Yes, you did.

I didn't mean it, man. Don't kick my ass, Stevie.

If you see Stevie, you better apologize.

Yeah, I'm going to.

Because he'll beat the fuck out of you with a brick.

Yeah, he would.

How come every time I see you, you are always making a dumb face?

It's just fun. It's not for an image or anything, it's just fun to do, it just gets me kind of psyched. Instead of waving, I give the middle finger. It's just something I've always done to my parents, and they are always like, "Hey, Corey," I'm like, "Yeah, cunt, what you want?"

Bullshit. You don't talk to your mother like that.

yeah, I do. I get in trouble. I used to always have to eat soap when I was five years old. My dad would ask me to go clean my room. I was just like, "Screw you, dickhead." I've always had to eat soap.

What do you do up there in Walnut Creek?

Go to school everyday, go shop at thrift stores like the Goodwill and just go buy candy.

Do you like a lot of chocolate?

Yeah, I love candy. Especially before I go skate, it gets me hyped up.

Do you eat a lot of nuts too?

I hate nuts plain, but if it's in the stuff, it's good.

You like salty nuts?

Yeah, salty nuts-- no, no, dude! That's wack! I don't like salty nuts. You're trying to make me sound gay, like I like salty nuts.

Speaking of nuts, tell me about this 25-stair handrail.

I was trying to do a 50/50 down it, and it was made out of aluminum, so me and John Minor had to wax it for like 25 minutes. Finally I just decided to go for it. I got on it fine, but the next thing I knew, I was bouncing on my nuts on the whole thing and jumped down to my face and just hit my face real bad and broke my collarbone and elbow and got jacked real bad. I damaged all the nerves in my face, just coughing up all this blood, had black balls.

What the fuck was going through your mind the second you knew you lost it?

I don't even know how I got on my nuts, it's a safe rail. There is grass on the other side, and I was trying to jump off to the other side, and I just missed it. I thought I was going to slide down my nuts and get off, but I just kept tumbling down. I hit my face, and everything went black and red. I just let out this loud scream. It was a nice fall though. It got me so psyched after watching it on film. It made me mad though sitting in the hospital knowing I'm not going to be able to skate for a month. That kind of sucks, but otherwise it was kind of funny, it just makes me want to go back and do it even more.

So you are going to go back and do that rail?

Oh, yeah. Can't wait to try it again. It happend two weeks ago or something, and i'm skating again already. Nothing big, just doing flat ground, just cruising around having fun. Kind of like when you first start skating just to go have fun. It gives me more time to hang out with my girlfriend and eat more food.

You need to eat. You're anorexic.

Nah, I ain't 'rex. That's what everybody says. I eat so much food, man. I weigh 120 pounds.

How tall are you?

Six foot. Hey, I gained ten pounds in the last month, that's good. I was like joey Ramone or something before.

Another kind of fruity thing that you do, you are into clothing design aren't you?

Yeah, I like it. I've done a bunch of designs for Hurley. Emerica is going to let me do it for them hopefully too. I just always draw designs, and finally I just decided to submit it to Hurley, and they got psyched on it. I do jackets, shirts, pants, shorts. I really like fashion. I like different types of clothes. I guess that's why I like going to thrift stores so much. I just go buy stuff and try to make it into something different. I mean, designers are kind of fruity at times. Man, you're trying to make me sound gay in this interview.

No, you're sounding gay on your own.

Man, that sucks! I'm getting jacked so bad. I talked trash on Stevie, and now i'm sounding like a fag. Man, I'm going to get jacked.

You are already jacked.

Yeah, but Stevie's gonna punch me in the face, man.

Maybe you should apologize to Stevie right now.

Yeah. I'm sorry Stevie, I don't think you are trashy, I think you are a damn good skateboarder though. That guy is so good. Oh, he's real good. That guy is really good at skating. You are the best, Stevie.

Do you ever get into fights, giving people the finger?

No. I'm surprised I don't get my ass kicked, because I talk so much trash.

Do you think you'll get your ass kicked after this interview?

Probably. Stevie Williams is going to be after me. Like Stevie is not going to read it, but somebody is going to read it and be like, "Hey, Stevie, we got this kid talking trash on you." Oh, man, I'm getting jacked.

But you spit at people and you flip them off, and you don't get your ass kicked?

No. There was this kid -- it's on Halloween -- this kid spit at me, so I punched him in the face, and his older brother and all his friends came and jumped me. They kind of just pushed me on the ground and kicked me, I just got back up though. It was like nine guys who were all twice my size.

Do you think most people just don't fight you becuase you look like a girl and they don't want to beat up a girl?

Oh, that would be a good idea. Just go talk all the trash you can and just like have a wig on or something.

But you don't need a wig. You already look like a girl.

That's messed up. Calling me a chick.

I didn't call you a chick. I just said you look like a chick. I know you are a dude becuase only a dude would be stupid enough to go down 25 stairs on his face, but you look like a fucking chick.

Man, that's what people say too because I wear chicks' pants because they fit tighter too, so everyone thinks i'm a chick even more. They don't make guys pants tight enough. I have a size-27 waist, and I get like 27/34's. Guy pants aren't made that small.

You shop in the girls' section at K-mart?

Yeah, it's jacked, man. No, I don't do it, I make my mom go do it for me.

You make your mom buy your pants for you?

Yeah. She just called me up today like, "Oh, I found a pair of good new 512 Levis for you."

All right, Corey, I think I tortured you enough.

Torture me enough, nah. I had fun. I'm psyched, I got an interview.

Okay, let's end it there, unless you have to thank somebody.

Yeah, I guess I should thank my sponsors Emerica, Hurley, Ricta Wheels, Diakka Watches, Arnette and Metro Board Shop. I'd like to thank everybody: Paul Gomez, Justin Regan, my mom, my parents, anybody that has ever helped me out. Lance at the Firm and especially Greg and everybody at Think for everything they did in the past, and so like anybody that has helped me out, thanks.

hahahahha what a jerk.

anyways i guess you're kinda itching for another Rosa flick by now too,

TREAL TV Hosted by Mac Dre

OOOOOHWEEE gawdayum... if you haven't seen treal tv yet, get on it.. NOW. Mac Dre aka. Thizzelle Washington, aka Pill Clinton aka The Swabbage Patch hosts an hour and 20 minutes... all about him, his Rodney King breezies, ghost riding his mini van and all sorts of ridiculousness. check it out by clicking on the post title.. you won't regret it.

Brooklyn Stand Up!

So I returned to NY again for labour day weekend on a solo mission to meet up with the click for an enjoyable weekend. While starting off a little skeptical, my NY fam always pulls through to show me a good time. I stayed with Ian in BK most of my time there until the last day for the west indian parade where i then migrated to my dear friend Karl's house in Bedstuy.

I finally got to see most of Streets is Talking... and it's looking quite enjoyable. You can look forward to a solid tranny part by Jamal Smith, some footage filmed by yours truly of crackheads in peace park with thongs over their fannypacks. I even got a trick in at the banks, yee. Hopefully Ian listens to me and puts in his footage of BK rolling deep at young jeezys crib in ATL but i doubt it. Lots more dumb naked chicks and even more gritty street brawls. Just what we come to expect from the Reid.

Peace Park

Peace Park is just that spot in Montreal where everyone meets up to start the day of skating.. or at least it used to be before they started giving out 600$ tickets for skating there. Now people keep it brief and when the po is spotted everyone starts to mad dash. Crazy Dave is the "king" of Peace .. not because he pulls the illest shit there but because he is there everyday. guaranteed. He lives right up the street and ever since i can remember about (5 or so years) he has been documenting the craziness that goes on there. For those that don't know peace is situated just bellow st catherine on the corner of st laurent which is Montreal's red district. The park sits right in between a stretch of 24 hour sexotheques (brothels, Temple Skate shop and a 24 hour corner store. Thus it houses skateboarders, native scum, and crackheads/ prostitutes of all shapes and forms. Really it's the type of spot that anything can go down at any given time. Crazy Dave has been collecting rugged footage of this spot for years and claims a video is in the works. Man that video will be raw as fuck if it ever makes it's way into public view that is. So far there's a teaser that's been out for at least 2 years now. if you haven't seen it yet check it out.
My squad is running that shit. Gab and Phil doing it, my niggas!

Short Skirts High Hopes

When i was in high school i was a fucking genius... all be it i didn't know it at the time but when i think back to the glory days attending a catholic all girls school me and my click ran shit. High school for us Quebecois is anywhere from grade 7 - 11.
So now whenever the fuck i feel like it, i will reminisce on the good old days when smokes were cheap and catholic school-girl was a synonym for whore. Gab, these stories are for you, i know how they amuse you so.

So basically I was a lazy low life fucking stoner, right typical high school shit? Anyways.. I was pretty bad with it. I'd usually wake up, smoke a roach that was laying on my bedside table.. and then proceed to get dressed and head to the metro where the click would meet at 8:00 at Villa Maria metro to get our morning toots on. Now, if we didn't have weed, we would sit at the metro waiting for anyone, usually marymount scum, to hustle us a fins... Sometimes being an hour to 2 hours late for class just because we were waiting for our morning fix. The excuses used to obtain a late pass were incredible, ridiculous, and relentless. I'll list a top 5 best excuses ever used some other time. This post is about the stoners perfect excuse, Hypoglycemia.

First off, There are two symptoms that are commonly associated with smoking/ingesting THC. Obviously im talking about getting fucking hungry and wanting to pass the fuck out.

So I decided to commence the master plan on a teacher who would understand the the effects of such a diagnonsis. My science teacher. At first when he would find me passed out he would abnoxiously wake me up, until i put my plan into action that is. I came to him one day before class and explained that i had recently been diagnosed with Hypoglycemia. Sympathy was in the air.
I don't think i spent a single class awake after that day.. i would wake up when the lunch bell rang, wipe the drool off my face, eat and then smoke some more. Magical.

Then there was my english teacher, what a sucker... i mean.. sweetheart. No wait.. i mean sucker. After giving her the hypoglycemic talk when she would catch me nodding off she would cautiously wake me only to hand me a couple of dollars and a hall pass. "Go to the cafeteria and bye a cookie sweetie" something along the lines of that.

I then continued the wizardry with all my other teachers. I didn't accomplish much in terms of acidemics those 5 years, but i like to think that the shit i did accomplish was a feat way greater.

Next time on Running shit 2000-2005, How to make biology fun.

Skinema, The heavenly works of Chris Nieratko

So yesterday I was pretty hungover and didn't make it to work. Oops. My bad. Something good did come out of this situation though. I spent what i proclaim to be the best 20$ I've spent in years. I purchased a copy of Nieratko's Skinema.

I got to work today around 8:30, went straight to my bosses office to see what deeds he needed done for the day and he told me that I needed to create some employee files and that he would meet me in my office in a couple of minutes. It is now 11:00, my boss has hopefully forgotten I even exist. Lucky for me, it has given me a chance to read. After reading the introduction by Dave Carnie, certifying Chri$ Nieratko as a grade A asshole, I knew I was in for a good read. The book consists of compiled entries disguised as porno reviews. divulging the inner intricacies of his drug and alcohol abused mind, his fear of AIDS and Herpes, and all sorts of fun stuff about him fucking sluts. Buddy really likes anal. With entry titles like, "A Cum Sucking Whore Named Kimberly" and "Anal Mermaids" I'm kind of in literary heaven right now. Don't bother trying to contact me while I'm at work today.. I'm busy
bishes.
The caption under the flick of Shimizu says, "My friend Daniel Shimizu demonstrates why Asians are superior: they refuse to get tattoos without tits resting on their heads." The caption for the flick on the right is, "Porn star Kelly Madison. You can't tell from this angle but she has a lovely personality."

Now and Then

I started getting into skateboarding in 2000.. I was 12 years old at the time and my neighbour Viviane and I used to just fuck around busting rocket ollies on our block and talking shit just to kill time. That same year Photosynthesis came out, it was the first skate video I ever purchased. It blew my mind then and still does every time I watch it. I remember that same week i bought it I went out and bought an alien workshop Dyrdek board at Underworld, I was on it.

I came across the trailer for Mind Field today while bored at work it got me very nostalgic to say the least. I like how they stayed true to the way it was filmed 8 years ago, half black and white half color.. lots of artsy shots of moving traffic. Check out the trailer by clicking on the post title. There are other clip links once your at the trailer.. check out Light Leak clip.. it starts off with a black and white football field scene... i wonder if this is foreshadowing of a Dill pole vault part two?

Complicated Daze

So i guess i kinda need to explain that last post.
It goes like this.
Wednesday started off as a seemingly normal day, work 8-5.. then jenn and I had class from 6:30-9.. however we were bored out of our fucking minds and decided to leave at around 8ish. I suggested we go kill time at Square Victoria with a couple beers and my skateboard until the mini ramp was up at the bar. The thing about not having a penis and drinking beer is that when the iss feeling hits it's a little harder to release naw mean? Anyways luckily for us the W hotel is located right across the street and Jenn's uncle is the doorman so peeing is relativly hastle free. Point of that being that when jenn went to iss i decided to do a lap around the piece. I then heard a whistle, turned around..and it was none other than the bastard beast.

I made a rash decision to play the stupid american tourist card. Propably the dumbest thing i could have done considering they were french canadian pricks. Firstly, i fronted like i couldn't speak/ understand french(which deffinitly pissed them right the fuck off) then i told them i didnt know you couldn't skate here.. i just wandered out of my hotel and ended up there. They proceded to ask my name, age, address. Aw fuck i didn't want a ticket.. i figured i'd stick to my lame story and they'd let me off the hook... If only.
Anyways so i claimed to be a 16 year old sarah held from vermont. They then asked for parents names and the hotel room number... They called the hotel and obviously.. i nor my phony parents were listed. They then told me i would go to jail if i didn't find some piece of i.d. Jenn had returned from the pisser and was watching from a distance at this point... i then decided to fess up to the beast man and tell them my real name. As soon as he heard the words.. okay so i kinda lied, in a fury he got out of his car threw me up against the hood and before i knew it i was in handcuffs in the backseat of a police car with 2 douche bags telling me all about how fraud is a criminal offense and the slammer was my destination. Jenn ran up to the cop car once shit hit the fan and asked one of the cops nicely what was going down as she was clueless to the situation. The cop then told her to mind her own fucking buisness and to get out of there. Jen was pretty offended by his rude tude and decided to give it back to him. so at this point im trying to houdini my hands out of the cuffs while sticking my head to the window trying to figure out what the fuck was going on. Then i see jenn start ruffing up the cop pushing him, he got ruff back and called for shit loads of back up. Finally they managed to slam jenn against the hood of the car while she kept flailing her extra long limbs and screaming shit like "FUCK YOU YOU CROOKED FUCKING BASTARDS BAAAAAAH" i was trying to hold back from laughing at this point.. thinking this really fucking sucks.. but i guess atleast i'll have a friend with me in the slammer. they cuffed jenn and sat her outside on the curb while they ran our names. Backup arrived and the douchebag cops were there bragging to their other fucking pig pen friends saying shit like "aww ouais la petite pis ca blonde" which means we got her and her girlfriend.. then they just started clowning on us calling us lesbians and shit i'm like cool whatever i'd eat pussy before getting on a cops dick anyday. anyways on to the story. At this point the beer was kicking in and all i could think about was when i'd next be able to pee.

Now im thinking Jenn pushed a cop a couple of times no way shes not going to jail.. but no. Instead they wrote her up a 500$ ticket and sent her on her way. So the cops get back in the car and start driving me away as jenn attempted to chase the car down the block. I kept telling the officers i needed to pee, they kept telling me to fuck off basically. they drove me to the cop station and i was like sweet just fucking book me i need to fucking pee. like really bad. like i've never needed to pee before. They then explained that because i had no priors they wern't going to book but i was going to get 2 tickets and a criminal court case. Man they purposely took FOREVER to write up those tickets purposely lengthing my agony. i somehow mannage to undo my pants and told them if they didnt let me out to pee i would piss in their beloved car. The cop then told me that if i did that i would have to clean it up with my face. Considering his level of dickery i didn't want to take the chance that he was bluffing. They then let me out (still cuffed pants half off) and told me i could pee but would have to pay another 150 pissing in public ticket. fucking cunts. So i held on for dear life.. waiting for them to write up my tickets and mugshot dates and court dates ect. Once that was over i never ran so fast in my life fuckin mad dashed to the delta, and a single tear ran down my left cheek as i took the most satisfying piss of my life. It felt like a fucking moon landing. mission completed. I then proceeded to the bar to get really fucked up.
The end.

Tonight is the night i got Arrested!

for skateboarding and fraud...oh and jenn got a 500 ticket for assult and battery of a police officer... il explain tomorrow when im not hammerd kay thx bai!

Alena! Back and on the Come Up..so move over bish

Anyone living and skateboarding in Montreal for over 5 years now could tell you about Alena. Alena was THE dopest skate shop montreal ever had, from it's once simplistic classy layout, to the heat they had on the shelves (probably the first shop in the 514 to carry URL's and Sb's, when skateboarders were iffy about Nike getting into the market)..i even got my first pair of Sb's there, the tweeds that started my passion for nike's and kicks in general, to the dope artwork on the walls to the art shows that would supply minors with boosie. Once located in the heart of DG, Alena was where it was at. Not to mention it was only a 5 minute skate from my catholic all girls highschool at the time and right across the street from Giruard Park the old skatespot/smokespot/40 spot after school special spot.
Jeremy Bresnen is the brains behind Alena and i truly believe that the only reason Alena went out of business in the first place is because he was just to ahead of his time and the game in general. I mean if a shop like Alena was up and running now i'm almost certain it would do quite well.

Anyways Jeremy is and was always a stand up dude, really good with kids in the community, putting everybody on. Maybe even too generous. I remember one particular incident where Laura Lloyd and I were sessioning Giruard one afternoon (2003/2004) sometime, and i broke one of my kingpins ( yes switched it up for you fucking nazis...you know who you are). Unfortunatly for me, I had just spent my lunch money on weed as i usually had, and went over to Alena and Jeremey hooked it up and was just like hit me up whenever you can... probably about 10 minutes later..one of Lloyd's kingpin broke... and he did the same thing for her. I think it was only like 4 bucks.. but you know it was his whole demeanor and "go skate, have fun!" attitude that really made that place what it was.

Well unfortunatly for us, Alena has had it's doors closed now for over 4 years and isn't opening up another shop in montreal, Alena is now more focused on branding itself. Product will be available soon from boards, to shirts to whatever else Jeremey comes up with. I'm sure it will be dope!

Oh yeah theres kinda a team already..Pretty much scattered across North America from Montreal to frisco. Oh even little brother Fyfe is on it.. go check out the site by clicking on the title of this post!

Story of my Summer

wow... so on point.

I'm Back... so Make it Clap.

woah that is unatural. yet hypnotizing.

Anyways i just got back from Vangritty
got to see lots of old friends and babies and naked vikings. Even the saskatoon squad was out there. fucking right good times.
I'l get flicks up later.

Rolling Rolling Rolling We Ain't Slept in Weeks.

Am getting paid weekend was 2 weeks ago.. Bredrins from all over the country came out...Some even out of country. There were 2 people i was particularly excited to see.. My saskatoon affiliate Owen Woytowich he's the fucking dude, and my girl Steph Hoff.. this bish is a boss lady. Head of marketing for Snkrbox and Color Mag she had to treck it down to the 514 in a 15 passenger cock bus with the 10 deep team. Too much partying went down.. but it was all in good fun.
Anyways less talk here are some flicks.
Footy comming soon!

Shane Hutton and my favorite lady of the night...Just wait until you see what she let me film...

Bottle Guzzling..Tony Montgomery, St-Urbs, Trim.


The bitch crew at the Transworld premier...Richie Jacksons part was actually impressive.. it's a shame he looks like such a fucking joke.

Tony and Jenn getting down on it.

German is actually one of the nicest dudes i've ever met.


Looking sloppy... oh what a weekend.

Epic line of the weekend

The clincher of a fantastic drunken conversation outside of aloha room.

Terry Worona: Yeah i could beat him at a game of skate have you seen my back tails?
Me: You've had back tails for 3 years get a new trick.

hahahaha sorry for putting you on blast Woronz! Had to do it.

DC getting Burned.

Canada's DC rep.. currently residing in montreal... getting hated on by the berrics.. yeh i'm really bored at work today. Oooh sk8mafia cats (kellen james, tyler surrey) are cosigning the hatred..i'm down... I love it when people are mean.. just not when there mean to me.. kay thanks!

http://www.theberrics.com/dailyopspost.php?postid=288

Epicly Later'd Iannucci Preview Bishes

Starting off the second season proper.
For the few of you who actually read my blog...enjoy.

What More Can I Say

So the last couple of weeks i've been pretty much strictly getting down with like 60's/70's/80's blues/funk/RnB.. and i'm at work today trying to youtube my favorite isley brothers jam "Contagious" and wow. R Kelly plays the other man in the video, essentially the perfect ending to my work day.. ISLEY BROTHERS FT R KELLY.. GOLD...
If you can't feel this jam theres something clearly wrong with you.

ooh snap there's more.. so apparently Ron Isley AKA Mr Biggs loves doing collabos with R Kelly... but with a song called busted.. i mean who else could you get.. "i'm innocent i'm innocent i'm innocent, no you're guilty you're guilty you're guilty you're guilty" Story of Kellys life.. But fuck yeah this Isley Brothers track is another one of my jams. oh snap, get with it.


Okay so apparently Kelly isn't tired of fucking Ron's bitches yet... embeddings disabled on this one.. but check it out. classic isley brothers baby making tracks.
i personally think these women are a little grown for Kelly... they could have been a little more realistic with the casting but oh well.
Down Low ( nobody has to know)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Npt-_LYfVsY&feature=related

Big Brother Monday Pt. Deux.

Herrro kids!
Everybody loves a gimmick. even you camon. ALL KILLER NO FILLER. I cant believe the mag came in cereal box. Pure genius. fuck anyone know where i can get my hands on this? anyone at all?

well as long as i can get my hands on this lady i think it should suffice. I remember wanting that hat so badly. Never happened for me.

Didn't Even Have to Use my AK, Today Was a Good Day!

Mmm so finally went filming yesterday, Gab and I hit up 3 different mini's in a 5 hour period.. murking season! Beers, piff, and good friends... yesterday was a good day.
This track pretty much exemplifies yesterdays vibe.

However today i woke up pretty banged up. All in a days work, but its wednesday bishes! That means mini night at the bar, i think it's safe to say... today will be a good day.

Big Brother Monday

Okay so here's a new concept for me... Every Monday I'm gonna attempt to brighten up my week by taking it back to a time where responsibility wasn't even in my vocabulary.. (still isn't rly!), poop jokes were essentially the funniest thing ever, and naked chicks were predominant in skate ads. Oh Big Brother you did me right (no homo incest).

When big brother first came out it was a little pre my era unfortunately but i remember whenever i would go to my older guy friends houses i would always try and snag an old issue or two. I grew up in the post rocco era of Big brother..when carnie and nieratko were the editors fuck they kept me entertained.. i also really liked the half naked chicks and sometimes questioned my sexuality due to this (thanks assholes). Anyways i remember when Larry Flynts people took over the publication i was stoked.. i assumed there would be way more T & A... wow was that ever a bust. Less ass, basically no tits, but I'm pretty sure the swearing and pictures of poo went up alot.. oh and all of carnies rambling about his fucking cat Gary... I do wonder how gary is.

Anyways enough of my reminiscent bullshit. I guess it's only appropriate that my first Big Brother Monday rep the first issue.


Anyone remember Rosa? Wait with those tits, how could we forget.


ooh Ive got a lot more.. stay tuned.

Made in the Dirtyglove

My Detroit homie Kelley Hice hit me up with this new spot that he and his D Boys have spruced up. A Newport fucking pole jam, illy!
apparently the ledges look like Newport packs.

Looking real good kids!

"If you ain't from the yak, fallback"

Wu Tang Forever

ODB looking mad fiendish...

way too good.

oh man! ODB and RZA on America's next top model... RZA making fun of wannabe model hoe's... on point.



I LOVE YOU DIRT DOG.
if he were still alive i would definitely find out the name of his hair stylist

HYPHY

I DONT THINK THEY KNOW THAT'S MY WORD!


I think Keak and i are on the same page.... white t shirt, blue jeans, and nikes.


oh yeah and R I P to MAC D R E. YADIDADAMEEEN

it's afro punk in new york this weekend...
hosted by my beloved clyde singleton got a bunch of brown dudes pushing the envelope: larelle grey, kellen james,Anthony williams.. to name a few.
i really wanna go..Afrika Bamabata spinning on the one's and two's... i think even the likes of Bonecrusher and spike lee are supposed to be there..
Man anyone wanna road trip.
JUST TELL ME WHEN TO GO!

Changing Places

Well i guess you've all been wondering where the fuck I've been, actually probably not. Anyways I've been conserving my blogging powers because the Tupperware unit site will be up and running this week. Real talk, after a few delays Kelly will have that ish up and running by June 20th. There will also be a large grand-opening party in our honor on the Friday at Off The Hook. check the flyer, you like it so far?

it's a nail polish party? I'm not quite sure what the means.. i guess the bishes will be sitting around getting faded and getting their nails did.
Guys are welcome too... however unless your name is ru paul or futura 2000 you'll probably be posted up at the bar.
See yeah there. Don't forget to check out the site starting at 8:00 Friday night
www.tupperwareunit.com
oh yeah and free give-aways for the ladies from the good people at Keep, freshjive, Etnies Plus and a whole lot more so be there.
holla!
oh yeah i might still post on here from time to time
probably ultra vulgar shit that wont go over well on the site so check it once in a blue moon.
aite!

If yeah haven't quite figured me out yet...i grew up worshipping Big Brother. Carnie, Nieratko and Singleton always fulfilled me with that grittyness that I desired as I was making my way through those awkward early teenage years. That's neither here nor there...My point being i nearly had a hear attack when singleton hadn't updated all 3 of his websites in nearly a month I thought he was in prison or worse dead. Who would fulfill me with the niggerish trash talk that get's me through so many of my tedious work days.
Anyways so clyzza finally updated with some serious footage of an incident that occured in montreal on monday when the habs won the last game of the first series.


for those of you that don't know by now the whole city went into a state of riot after the win. Drunk french people love to run a muck, and still love to hate squalay. Anywyas that last piece of footy went down after 2 dumb drunk Ontarians muttered out racial slurs to the nigs that post up on the corner of peel and st catherine.. they run that corner don't fuck around. I believe in the south they refer to what just happened there as an A town stomp down.

anyways theres way more riot footy circulating on youtube of all the po cars that were torched and all the shops that were raided
I look forward to seeing the peel corner boys rocking there brand new left foot only kicks that they juxed from footlocker.


I missed most of it, I was busy wyling at the Wu Tang show... but it was a good time.. burning, drinking and straight up fuckery in the streets and squalay wern't doing shit, Montreal folk ain't nothin to fuck with.

enjoy.

LL

lloyd informed me of her upcoming BBQ at casa del lloyd. i must admit I'm somewhat disappointed that this is the first year we haven't had a joint bash. doodoohead
either way I'm pretty excited for the parlay!
best believe i thought of you when i saw these

I'll try and hook these up before the bash bibi!
yes.